ALL ARE WELCOME: Lesbian Young Adult Balances Faith and Exclusion

Kate Childs Graham

The ALL ARE WELCOME series is an occasional feature  which examines how Catholic faith communities can become more inclusive of LGBT people and issues.  At the end of this posting, you can find the links to previous posts in this series.

For most Catholics, experiences of inclusion in our local parishes during liturgy or various social events are central elements tying us to the faith. A supportive, positive local community can build us up in the face of a wayward hierarchy or, alternatively, tear us down with its rejection.

Kate Childs Graham writing in National Catholic Reporter highlights the experiences of one young adult struggling to find welcome in the faith she loves. Kate narrates the story of Danielle, a college student in Texas who grew up in the same parish, St. Phillip’s, where she now mentors as a peer educator. Kate continues:

“Danielle came out of the closet at 15. The director of religious education at St. Philip’s was one of the first people to accept her.

“She told me, ‘That’s cool,’ Danielle recalled. ‘Just don’t be too gay.’

“So she continued to educate and walk with ‘her kids’ — as she calls them — in the confirmation class. But then, the parish got a new priest and a new director of religious education.

“’He said that being gay is bad,’ Danielle said. ‘I never heard any priest I knew talk like that.’”

After finding welcome, Danielle suffered rejection as a Catholic lesbian due to parish staffing changes. Motivated by fear that she would be asked to stop peer education or be unable to assume leadership of the mariachi choir her family ran since 1969, Danielle went back into the closet.

Danielle’s new personal ministry to attend Mass with LGBT young people who were thrown out of  Confirmation class for their identity, and then plays music at four separate parishes on Sundays. For now, Kate writes:

“Danielle knows the church she loves has a long way to go, but her prayer is pretty simple: ‘I just want my parish to be a bit more accepting.’”

Positive parish-level responses to LGBT individuals and families are sometimes the simplest acts with the greatest effect we can have for our communities. New Ways Ministry maintains a national Gay-Friendly Parishes and Faith Communities list in attempting to identify those communities who strive for welcome and inclusion.

Bondings 2.0 is curious about our readers’ experiences.

• Is your Catholic parish accepting of LGBT individuals and/or families?
• What do professional ministers and lay leaders enact that creates a better atmosphere?
• In your experiences, what are common obstacles to changing a parish’s culture?
• What are good strategies?

We welcome you to leave your answers to these questions and more below in the “Comments” section.

–Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry

NEWS NOTES: January 31, 2013

Here are links to Catholic LGBT news items that might be of interest to you:

1) Archbishop Victor Tonye Bakot of Yaounde, Cameroon called same-sex marriage a “serious crime against humanity,” according to Reuters. His comments intensify ongoing debates over legal equality in Cameroon, where youth are agitating for LGBT rights in a nation that has criminalized homosexuality.

2) The Telegraph reports that Scottish regulators recently ordered a Catholic family services agency to end discriminatory adoption practices that favored couples married for at least two years. Scotland is moving towards marriage equality, but for now the regulators gave the agency until April 22nd to end their policy.

3) Hackers downed an anti-gay Catholic blog in Italy for 25 days because it advocated a ‘cure’ to homosexuality and posted comments that blamed domestic violence victims for their abuse.  Pink Star News reports that, unfortunately, the site is now up again.

4) The Rhode Island House of Representatives passed legislation that would grant same-gender couples marriage rights and, as expected, the Catholic bishops in that state have opposed it. The Providence Journal reports that the Rhode Island Catholic Conference director claims marriage equality undermines the common good.

–Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry

Bishops in France Release Hopeful Statement on Same-Sex Relationships

Catholic Bishops of France

Catholics bishops in France have released a positive-leaning document amid that nation’s intensifying marriage equality debate. The document, from the national episcopal conference’s Family and Society Committee calls for dialogue about same-sex relationships and severely condemns homophobia.  This document seems an acknowledgment by the bishops that current episcopal practices and teaching fail a pastoral, and perhaps, theological test.

The writers at Bondings 2.0 will continue seeking an English translation for further commentary, but until then the bishops’ writing is available in French here.

Terence Weldon at Queering the Church makes the following preliminary observations based on his translation:

“Based on my reading, these are the features of the document that make it really worth careful attention:

• the simple fact of a call for constructive dialogue – together with a genuine attempt to begin it.
• a firm rejection of homophobia in any form, and insistence on respect for all
• a call to listen attentively to the concerns and needs of homosexual people themselves
• thoughtful attention to the findings of science, leading to -
• the recognition of the value of loving and committed same – sex partnerships.
• an acknowledgement of the value of the symbolism in marriage, and the weaknesses of civil union legislation.
• a proposal to strengthen the existing civil unions legislation, to improve the symbolic value, and repair its weaknesses.”

Weldon contrasted the different tenor in this document from typical writings over marriage equality from the Church hierarchy, as both part of a growing trend towards civility and compromise and a leap from precedence:

“One of the tragic features of so much of Vatican and episcopal responses to marriage equality, is that it has too often been couched in language so extreme, or made such outlandish and completely unsubstantiated claims, that it is too easy to dismiss it as being on the outer fringes of crazy town – and has left little room for serious, constructive debate…

“There have been some exceptions. One of the few silver linings in the dark cloud of the recent Vatican onslaught on marriage, is that the attacks have been specifically on extending to us the word “marriage”, while refraining from attacks on our relationships themselves. As a tactical device, some bishops have notably even supported civil partnerships or civil unions, which they had previously opposed, as a more palatable alternative to full marriage equality…

“This latest move by the French bishops is part of a trend – but in fact, it goes further – much further, and deserves close attention.”

If indeed the French bishops seek reconciling dialogue over same-sex issues that respects gay and lesbian voices and acknowledges the good found in committed relationships, this would be a major forward step for the Catholic hierarchy. Further admissions that the Church fails LGBT persons by discriminating against them and  by not forcefully acting against homophobia would be equally welcomed.

Bondings 2.0 previously reported here and here on the actions French Catholics have engaged in from both sides of the marriage equality question .

–Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry

What Will Be Archbishop Cordileone’s Legacy in San Francisco?

Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone

Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone was recently profiled in San Francisco Magazine as he completes his first months as a radically traditionalist leader amid one of America’s most inclusive cities. The long-form piece reported on many areas of Cordileone’s life, none more so than his vigorous opposition to gay and lesbian equality, especially marriage rights.

Cordileone’s prominence in the marriage equality debate emerged from his pivotal leadership in the passage of Proposition 8 in California that limited marriage rights to heterosexual couples. Now, San Francisco Magazine reports on both the archbishop’s past and his potential future regarding marriage:

“He leads the powerful U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops’ Subcommittee for the Promotion and Defense of Marriage, making him the church’s go-to guy in battling the cresting gay marriage tide…

“There are larger national struggles afoot…Conventional wisdom among conservatives has it that the church must work against more electoral wins for gay marriage. And yet, cautions [Executive Director of New Ways Ministry, Francis] DeBernardo, ‘the polls show that more and more Catholics support marriage equality. It’s a losing battle. At this point, our political campaigns are just speeding up history.’”

To many involved in Catholic ministry, Cordileone’s actions are not surprising and are not limited to marriage rights.

During his tenure as bishop of Oakland, he scrutinized the Catholic Association for Lesbian and Gay Ministry (CALGM) over whether they were ‘authentically Catholic.’ His repeated attempts to control were met with good faith responses from CALGM. For instance, they reviewed their use of the words “gay” and “lesbian” in light of his preferred “homosexual.” Eventually, he asked for even more restrictions on their decision-making:

“Cordileone then broadened his demands, asking CALGM board members to sign an eight-page loyalty oath that stressed keeping gays and lesbians from communion and holding them to chastity, along with statements supporting ‘traditional’ marriage and condemning cloning. When the board didn’t sign, Cordileone threatened ‘public action.’”

San Franciscan Catholics now attempt to read Cordileone for how he will act in their inclusive diocese, including Most Holy Redeemer parish in the Castro that is a nationally-recognized gay-friendly parish. Opinions from residents are mixed, with some seeing positive common ground with which to build relationships with Cordileone and others writing him off already:

Roz Gallo

“Roz Gallo, a San Francisco Catholic who married her female partner of 20-plus years in 2008, hopes for common ground. When she heard about Cordileone’s appointment, her first thought was to welcome him. ‘There’s room for dialogue,’ says Gallo, an office manager at a Peninsula law firm. ‘Immigration, social justice, those are my concerns, too. I’m also Sicilian and raised in Southern California. Perhaps I’m Polly-annaish, but I think that if [the archbishop and I] met, if he heard my views, we could change his mind’…

Hugh Mallaney

“It’s simple, said Hugh Mallaney, a 60-year-old openly gay member of Most Holy Redeemer, sitting at a round table crowded with friends. ‘He does his thing, we do ours.’ After a pause, he added, ‘I mean, the church is for us, too. We’ve built this community, and I feel more at home here than anywhere. Someone can try and come in and change that. But we will outlast them.’”

It appears, as Cordileone often works, that traditionalist changes will be implemented subtly and indirectly. Already, the new priest at Most Holy Redeemer restricted use of parish facilities and made controversial decisions about parish-hosted drag shows. These potentially signal restrictions related to the new archbishop’s arrival, reported in the piece:

“…some congregants and longtime observers of Most Holy Redeemer say that the new archbishop’s presence and his investigation of CALGM have further sent a chill. ‘He’s not going to swoop down to the Holy Redeemer and yell, “Stop your gay outreach!”’ says DeBernardo of New Ways Ministry. ‘It’s far more nuanced than that. People might censor themselves, modify things a bit.’”

Francis DeBernardo continues more hopefully that Cordileone’s history of anti-LGBT efforts need not dictate his future in San Francisco:

“‘We’re at a point in the church where bishops want to stick to their guns on this issue. It’s the tenor of the episcopacy…But maybe Cordileone could surprise us. Perhaps he will imitate Jesus Christ, who bore the brunt of being ostracized for associating with people whom the religious institutions of his day didn’t consider desirable.’”

Perhaps ministering in a diocese that welcomes all will draw Archbishop Cordileone away from his Roman-inculcated beliefs into a more pastoral and loving ministry, perhaps not. Either way, Bondings 2.0 will continue updating our readers on developments in the Bay Area.

–Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry

Bondings 2.0 and New Ways Ministry In the News

Bondings 2.0  and New Ways Ministry have been in the news three times this past week.

1. Praise from “Across the Pond”

QueeringTheChurch.com, the premier Catholic LGBT blog in the United Kingdom, noted Bondings 2.0′s 500th post milestone with a post of their own commending us for our own blog work.  Editor Terence Weldon offered this evaluation:

“I began following Frank’s blog [Bondings 2.0] soon after [it launched]. Although its focus is heavily on the American church, I still found much of interest and value.”

Coming from Mr. Weldon, one of the pioneers of Catholic LGBT blogging, this praise makes us blush a bit!

He continues by noting the joint effort between New Ways Ministry and London area Catholic LGBT folks in the summer of 2012, when I conducted a “Next Steps” workshop in the UK.  Weldon adds that he continues to discern his next steps with regard to Catholic LGBT ministry:

“I have been contemplating going from a narrow focus on blogging, to a greater emphasis on direct face – to – face work, promoting the Next Steps workshops, and perhaps adopting and adapting some of the other New Ways methods.”

We are very honored that our model of ministry may be replicated somewhat by our friends in the UK.

2.  Bob “Shines” on Another Blog

Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry’s Young Adult and Social Media Coordinator, and a regular contributor to Bondings 2.0, had an essay appear on Catholics United’s young adult blog, OurDailyThread.com.

Shine’s post, entitled “Correcting the Bishops’ Course in 2013,” is a summary of U.S. Catholic bishops’ political involvement in 2012, while it also offers a new course for the coming year:

“The bishops can continue to have their identity be defined by the partisanship, ecclesial legalism, and aberrant traditionalism or they can prepare the way of God anew.”

Among the many topics that Shine covers is the bishops’ campaigns to prevent marriage equality from becoming law in several states.  He notes that the widening gap between the bishops and the Catholic laity and the American electorate on questions of sexual justice hamper the bishops’ ability to speak out on other issues of the day:

“Taken together, the bishops’ deep political investments that failed are deeper losses for their credibility and relevancy in American society. Without swift, major, and lasting course corrections, the bishops will not even be a part of conversations around political matters of great importance. “

Congratulations and thanks to Bob Shine for offering this insightful post on the future of the bishops’  political profile.

3. New Ways Ministry on HuffPostLive

New Ways Ministry’s Co-founder Sister Jeannine Gramick and Executive Director Francis DeBernardo were guests on a segment of HuffPostLive this past week.  The topic of of this online talk show was the ordination of women in the Catholic Church.  Both Sister Gramick and DeBernardo spoke in favor of ordaining women.

You can watch the segment by clicking here.

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

 

 

 

 

Help Us Determine the Worst and Best of 2012!

On the last two days of the year, Bondings 2.0 will review the news of the past year in the Catholic LGBT world by posting “The Worst of 2012″ and “The Best of 2012.”

Please help us prepare for these posts by taking a moment to take the two one-question surveys below.  You can choose up to FIVE responses to each question.  One of those responses can be “Other” where you can write-in your own selection.  Please respond by the end of the day, Saturday, December 29th,12 midnight, Eastern Standard Time.

If you would like to refresh your memory of what happened this past year, just use the tools in the right hand column of this blog to find stories that have been reported on here.  You can search by clicking on a category, by using a search term, or by reviewing posts by month.

Thanks for your help with this project!  We look forward to reading your responses!

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

Christmas Party for New Ways Ministry Volunteers

At the New Ways Ministry Volunteer Christmas Party, staff and volunteers join “Santa” in sending a pro-marriage equality message. Standing: Vern Smith, Patrick McNelis, David Lamdin, David Vespa; Seated: Mark Clark, Thom Krupa, Bob Shine (dressed as Santa), Matthew Myers; Kneeling: Sister Jeannine Gramick

As Christmas draws near,  we’d like to share a little holiday cheer from New Ways Ministry by presenting this photograph of our annual dinner party for our dedicated volunteers.  We took a moment during the party to send a message of Catholic support for marriage equality to all.

Almost every Tuesday evening, a group of volunteers from the local Washington, DC metropolitan area stop by New Ways Ministry’s offices in Mount Rainier, Maryland, to help us prepare the bulk mailings that we send out to our constituents and supporters.  Without these volunteers,  our communications folks around the country and the globe would be much slower and more expensive.  These stalwart worker help spread the word about our programs of education, spiritual development, and advocacy on Catholic LGBT issues.

We are extremely grateful for their service.  If you live in the DC metro area and are interested in volunteering some time, please contact New Ways Ministry either by phone, 301-277-5674, or email, info@NewWaysMinistry.org, so that we can let you know what the upcoming schedule is.

The work is not difficult, and it’s a great way of spending an evening together with like-minded souls.  We always end each evening with pizza and soda as refreshments.

We’d love to see you some volunteer night in 2013!

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

What Were the Best and Worst Catholic LGBT News Items of 2012?

As the year draws to a close, it’s natural to look back and reflect on all that has passed in the previous 12 months.  Publications will soon be starting to include year-end surveys of the “best” and “worst” of 2012 in their respective fields, so Bondings 2.0 wants to do the same for the Catholic LGBT world.  So we ask our readers:  what were the best and worst Catholic LGBT news items of 2012?

It’s going to be a challenge to select the most important ones to highlight. It’s been a packed year with numerous major news stories concerning the relationship of Catholicism and LGBT activities.

Below are two poll questions, followed by 15 possible answers, plus the choice “Other” for you to write in your own suggestions. We ask that you pick your top FIVE answers to each question.

If you would like to refresh your memory of what happened this past year, just use the tools in the right hand column of this blog to find stories that have been reported on here.  You can search by clicking on a category, by using a search term, or by reviewing posts by month.

Please take a moment to complete these two poll questions.  We will publish the results, along with our own choices during the last week of the year.  Thank you for participating!

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

Mountains Made Low, Valleys Raised Up

The readings for the second Sunday of Advent are Baruch 5:1-9, Philippians 1:4-6,8-11, and Luke 3:1-6. You can view the readings here. http://usccb.org/bible/readings/120912.cfm

Zealous hope and urgency towards action emanate from the readings of Advent’s second Sunday, signaling the coming reign of God. Foremost in today’s readings, we hear the refrain that God’s coming kingdom is a great equalizer. In Baruch:

“For God has commanded
that every lofty mountain be made low,
and that the age-old depths and gorges
be filled to level ground,
that Israel may advance secure in the glory of God.”

And in Luke, quoting the prophet Isaiah:

“Every valley shall be filled
and every mountain and hill shall be made low.
The winding roads shall be made straight,
and the rough ways made smooth,
and all flesh shall see the salvation of God.”

In the lowering of mountains and raising of valleys, the ground is leveled and all walk forward together on equal footing into God’s goodness and salvation. In the Church and in society, this equal footing eludes us in deep ways. We fail to progress “secure in the glory of God” because  as a faith community, as a nation, and as a human family, we allow the marginalization of others.

LGBT ministry in Catholicism is largely a leveling ministry struggling against the marginalizing tendencies of some.

We endeavor to make low the mountains upon which the powerful reside when we structurally support welcoming parishes, when we engage theology for a healthier and more holistic understanding of the human person and sexuality, and when we witness against actions falling short of Gospel love.

We endeavor to fill to level ground those persons who are seen as “less-than” when we secure basic rights that protect all persons, relationships, and families, when we enable our loved ones and neighbors to take off the “robe of mourning and misery” to “put on the splendor of glory from God forever” by being who God created to be, and when we celebrate in community the love common to all, without exclusion.

The coming of God’s kingdom was imminent for the early Christians, who truly believed the Second Coming would occur in their lifetime during the first century. When Paul reminds the Philippians, “that the one who began a good work in you will continue to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus,” this is not idle speculation. This good work could find completion any day and John the Baptist’s exhortation to “Prepare the way of the Lord” hints at immediacy.

To our modern selves, it seems that Jesus’ return has taken longer than the first Christians desired. That said, we cannot allow a two thousand year delay to stifle the abundant hope and sense of urgency clung to by these earliest believers. Advent provides an opportunity to renew and reinvigorate our leveling ministry on the LGBT front.

At times, the mountains seem domineering and unconquerable, while valleys are so deep we cannot peer into their darkness. Today’s readings provide us the vital nourishment of unending hope and urgent action so we can, repeatedly at each new step, scale the mountains to lower them and reach into the valleys to exalt them.

Then, together as equals, we walk forward in the light of God to the coming glory that awaits us.

–Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry

Embracing the Superabundance of Love

The readings for the first Sunday of Advent are Jeremiah 33:14-16, 1 Thessalonians 3:12-4:2, and Luke 21:25-28, 34-36. You can view the readings here.

As Advent begins, Catholics worldwide prepare themselves for Christ’s entrance into creation. In the already/not yet nature of Christianity, these weeks both anticipate Christ’s coming anew and celebrate  the Incarnation that brought us a historical Jesus. Each week we hear encouraging messages of hope, joy, and peace.

For LGBT advocates within the Church, we begin this Advent  on a particularly positive note with recent victories for marriage equality and as we witness a growing trend of acceptance, affirmation, and welcome amongst Catholics at large.

In this hope-filled Advent context, this Sunday’s readings seem jarring in their use of  harsh apocalyptic images to refer to the coming of God’s kingdom, which is elsewhere shown as peaceful and just. Catholic LGBT advocates also know of the harshness of a hierarchy doubling down in its oppressive anti-equality work as we struggle to ensure each person and every family are legally protected, at a bare minimum.

Luke’s gospel (Lk 21:25-28) has Jesus identifying nations in dismay, roaring seas, death from fright, and the powers of the heavens as signs of this new era when God’s justice will reign. Jesus’ further exhortation to be ready for what will surprise us and to remain strong during the trials seems a tall order. Jesus’ words can seem terrifying for the Christian — exactly the opposite of what we desire to aid us at Advent’s hopeful beginning.

Thankfully, the second reading from First Thessalonians contextualizes how preparedness, vigilance, and prayer demanded by Jesus may be lived out. Paul writes to the emerging community in Thessalonica in this pastoral letter, the earliest book of the New Testament and thus in close proximity to earliest Christian belief.

Couched amid apocalyptic passages, the reading today comes from Paul’s blessing for the community. We hear two parts proclaimed. The first desires an increase in love and the second calls for a strong Christian witness by the early Christians (1 Thes 3:12-4:2):

“Brothers and sisters:
May the Lord make you increase and abound in love
for one another and for all,
just as we have for you,
so as to strengthen your hearts,
to be blameless in holiness before our God and Father
at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all his holy ones. Amen.

“Finally, brothers and sisters,
we earnestly ask and exhort you in the Lord Jesus that,
as you received from us
how you should conduct yourselves to please God
and as you are conducting yourselves
you do so even more.
For you know what instructions we gave you through the Lord Jesus.”

We in the 21^st century Church find ourselves desperately requiring this same blessing that the Thessalonians received. Paul does not merely pray that they may love, but directly addresses Christ in his prayer. To quote the New Jerome Biblical Commentary, Paul “asks for a superabundance of love directed within and beyond the community” where the apostles lead by their humble witness.

In this, Paul demands the Church’s ministers lead by examples of love, and we can hope that the bishops and other church leaders will do the same. Given present affairs, we cannot wait on them to be loving witnesses to Christ — this superabundance of love must come from the laity and supportive religious and clergy. In this preparatory period of Advent, when we begin life with Christ again, it is this superabundance that might be a powerful focal point.

Superabundance isn’t a sufficient amount; it isn’t even more than necessary. Superabundance is gratuitous. It is overflowing. It is uncompromised, unrestrained, and perhaps unwieldy.

A superabundance means all, without exception, find their places in community and all, without exception, find more love than would suffice for even the most suffering people. It means that LGBT persons with their loved ones, their children and their families, their friends and their allies are not merely accepted, but eagerly invited to participate in a life with Christ anew.

I challenge myself this Advent to extend beyond just working out of love for structural changes and legal victories. These are essential, but only loving an ordinary amount comes from a love that two millennia of Christianity has tamed far too greatly.

This Advent, while we ready the way for Christ, let us re-embrace the superabundance of love found amid the earliest Christians, unconcerned with doctrinaire thinking and always concerned with how the community enacted its faith-filled witness.

Then we can be Christians that will stand before Jesus when God’s kingdom nears, confident that in loving superabundantly each person we lived well.

-Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry