Religious and Political Leaders Ask Archbishop to Stay Away from NOM

June 15, 2014

Today, Catholics in the Archdiocese of San Francisco will be visiting several parishes to ask them to sign a petition asking that city’s Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone not to speak at an anti-marriage equality rally in Washington, DC, later this month.

Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone

The petition (organized by Faithful America) is a part of a campaign to ask Cordileone to stay away from the National Organization for Marriage’s (NOM) rally on Thursday, June 19th.  The event is being supported by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB), and Cordileone is the chair of the conference’s Subcommittee for the Promotion and Defense of Marriage.  The rally is co-sponsored by the anti-gay Family Research Council.

A separate part of the campaign was a letter sent to the Cordileone signed by over 80 California politicians and national religious and community leaders, asking him to refrain from participating in the event.  The Los Angeles Times reported on some of the substance of the letter:

“If he attends as scheduled, they [the letter signers] noted, he will be ‘marching and sharing the podium’ with individuals who ‘have repeatedly denigrated lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people.’ . . .

“By standing alongside those participants and organizers, ‘you appear to be endorsing their troubling words and deeds, which directly contradict the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops’ pastoral teaching that “God does not love someone any less simply because he or she is homosexual. God’s love is always and everywhere offered to those who are open to receiving it,” ‘  they wrote.”

Among the Catholic signers of the letter are Francis DeBernardo, executive director, New Ways Ministry; Marianne Duddy-Burke, executive director, DignityUSA, Jim FitzGerald, executive director, Call To Action; Sister Jeannine Gramick, co-founder of New Ways Ministry and coordinator for the National Coalition of American Nuns; Jody Huckaby, Executive Director, PFLAG National; Mary E. Hunt, Co-Founder/Director, Women’s Alliance for Theology, Ethics and Ritual (WATER).

The entire text of the letter can be read here.

At the USCCB’s national meeting this week, Cordileone re-affirmed his commitment to anti-marriage equality work and to participation in the conference.  According to The National Catholic Reporter:

“Pointing to the recent string of state same-sex marriage bans struck down by federal judges, Cordileone said the country was at a ‘critical point.’

” ‘An amendment to the U.S. Constitution is the only remedy in law against judicial activism,’ he said.

“The San Francisco archbishop also announced he would be attend the second annual March for Marriage in Washington, D.C., June 19. The march is organized by the National Organization for Marriage, a group advocating for legal recognition for marriage as only between one man and one woman.”

The letter to Cordileone also appeals to the example of Pope Francis:

“While not all of us agree with official Catholic teaching on marriage and family, we appreciate the many statements from Catholic leaders defending the human dignity of all lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people, especially the recent words of Pope Francis: ‘If someone is gay, who searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge?’

“Pope Francis words echo the Catechism of the Catholic Church, which states that lesbian and gay people ‘must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided.’ “

If Archbishop Cordileone does decide to speak at this event, he would do well to distance himself from the negative rhetoric of NOM by speaking up for the Catholic principles of “respect, compassion, and sensitivity” for lesbian and gay people.  While it might be best if he avoided the event, if he speaks forthrightly for the human dignity and equality of lesbian and gay people, he can turn this potentially negative event into a positive one.

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

Related articles

LGBTQ Nation: “Calif. officials, community leaders urge Archbishop not to attend anti-gay rally.”

Sister Maureen Fiedler, National Catholic Reporter blog: “San Francisco archbishop under fire for plan to speak at March for Marriage”

Huffington Post: “San Francisco Archbishop Outrages Community With Plans To Join Anti-Gay Rally”

San Diego Gay and Lesbian News: “Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone petitioned to not march with anti-gay hate groups”


Detroit Parents Receive National Award for LGBT Equality Work in Catholic Church

October 31, 2013

Catholic parents of LGBT people have been some of the most passionate and effective voices for equality and inclusion in both the church and society,  Their natural love for their children motivates them to try to make the world a better place for them, and so they are often tireless in their efforts.  Similarly, they know that understanding or accepting a child’s sexual or gender identity can be challenging for many Catholic parents who are just learning of these realities for the first time.

Linda Karle-Nelson and Tom Nelson

So, it is fitting that two Catholic parents were honored this past weekend with a top award at the PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) convention in Washington, DC.   Linda Karle-Nelson and Thomas Nelson, a married couple from the Detroit area, received PFLAG’s highest honor, the Betty DeGeneres Award (named for lesbian comedian Ellen DeGeneres’ mother) for their work not only in helping to spread the word of LGBT acceptance and family togetherness, but particularly for their advocacy and ministry within the Catholic community.

The Detroit Free Press reported on the background of the award and why this couple was chosen:

“PFLAG president Jody Huckaby said more famous and visible people were nominated for the honor — only the second time it has been given since Betty DeGeneres received the first award two years ago. But Huckaby said the Nelsons were deserving because they’re seeking to change minds while staying members of the Catholic Church.

“ ‘They are a tremendous example of parental love and affirmation. And then talking about it, and talking about it in one of the most challenging areas — the faith community,’ Huckaby said. ‘Our work in faith communities is the most important work we’re doing — because it’s not easy.’ ”

The Nelsons, who married as widowers in 2006, each have a gay son from marriages to their first spouses.  They met at a PFLAG meeting and fell in love, serving as living proof that it’s a lie that LGBT advocacy doesn’t help promote heterosexual relationships and marriages!   Though they work with PFLAG groups, the main bulk of their Catholic work has been as part of Fortunate Families, a national network of Catholic parents of LGBT children.   Linda served as the organization’s board president, and Tom has served on the board. Both have been active in the organization’s variety of activities.

They will be hosting a Fortunate Families gathering at Detroit’s Christ the King Catholic parish on Saturday, November 9th, 2013, 8:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m.    You can  find more information and register for this free event by clicking here.   Registration deadline is November 4th.

The Detroit Free Press quoted reactions about the award from the couple’s two gay sons:

“John Karle, 44, who is gay, said his mother’s and stepfather’s activism amazes him, and inspired him to join a gay-rights protest in front of St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York City.

“ ‘She is such a strong and persistent voice in support, and particularly support for gay kids in schools, and in churches with their families,’ said Karle, a publicist for St. Martin’s Press and churchgoing Catholic who will be at the ceremony. ‘It inspires me. I just can’t sit back and do nothing if she’s outside marching out front of the archdiocese’s office.’ ”

“Tom Nelson’s son, Mark, who is gay, as well as three of Nelson’s five daughters, also will attend.

“ ‘I’m proud of them,’ Mark Nelson, who lives in metro Detroit.”

Tom Nelson recently published An Ordinary Catholic:  A View from the Pewa memoir on his evolution in faith and reflections on a new vision of equality and justice for the Catholic Church.

The Nelsons were featured in a previous Bondings 2.0 post when they organized a demonstration at the Archdiocese of Detroit’s headquarters to protest Archbishop Allen Vigneron’s suggestion that Catholics who support marriage equality should not receive communion.

New Ways Ministry salutes these prophetic leaders, and we are deeply grateful for their ministry and witness!  May they continue to aid and inspire other Catholic parents to do likewise.

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

 

 

 


Fr. James Martin Honors Passing of PFLAG Founder Jeanne Manford

January 11, 2013

In a Facebook post, Jesuit Fr. James Martin recently commemorated the passing of Jeanne Manford, the founder of Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG). Accompanying a photo of the founder, Fr. James posted a reflection worth sharing about the positive impact that PFLAG has had which began because of the unconditional love Manford had for her gay son, Morty.

Jeanne Manford

Jeanne Manford

In part, Fr. Martin stated:

“For she loved prophetically. That is, she publicly expressed her love for a group of marginalized people before it was safe to do so. That kind of love might remind you of another person who worked in and around Galilee, publicly loving all sorts of people–lepers, tax collectors, prostitutes, Gentiles, Roman centurions–when it was not safe to do so, at all…

“There is a lot of talk about gays and lesbians these days. But in every thing we say and do, particularly for Christians, love must come first. And not the love that condemns first, or judges first, or labels first. But the love that loves first. Because God is love.”

Metro Weekly offered some details about Manford’s personal story, and how PFLAG originated:

“Hailed as one of the LGBT-rights movement’s first straight allies, Manford founded PFLAG after her son, Morty Manford, who died of AIDS-related complications in 1992, was among those patrons at the Stonewall Inn in Greenwich Village when a police raid sparked the 1969 Stonewall riots. When Morty Manford was beaten during a Gay Activists Alliance demonstration in April 1972 and police failed to intervene, Jeanne Manford wrote a letter to the New York Post standing by her son.

“‘I have a homosexual son, and I love him,’ her letter read.”

James Martin, SJ

James Martin, SJ

From that moment, she began marching alongside her son, and in ensuing years, PFLAG grew to have over 350 chapters and 200,000 members in the U.S.

Catholic parents continue to be some of the best advocates for their LGBT sons and daughters.   Through their prayers, advocacy, and, most importantly, their example, they are teaching the Catholic church how to unconditionally accept LGBT people.  Their natural love for their children mirrors the love that God has for all people. Organizations like Fortunate Families support Catholic parents who have LGBT sons and daughters.

New Ways Ministry echoes Fr. James’ closing words of the reflection:

“May Jeanne Manford rest in peace, and may we always love prophetically, recklessly, prodigally, dangerously, eternally.”

–Bob Shine and Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry


PFLAG’s Executive Director Discusses His Catholic Roots

July 23, 2012

Jody Huckaby, the Executive Director of PFLAG (Parents, Family, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), is profiled in The Advocate, the national LGBT news magazine.

A native of the heavily Catholic state of Louisiana, Huckaby’s profile begins with a familiar story:

“Jody M. Huckaby grew up Catholic, went to Catholic schools and was raised by devout Catholic parents in Eunice.

“So when Huckaby, 47, told his parents while he was in college that he is gay, it was “tough” to do, he recalls.

“ ‘It’s very hard when your religion tells you something is wrong but then you are talking about your child’” Huckaby said recently.

“Still, his parents, who were both raised in Church Point, eventually accepted Huckaby for who he is.

“ ‘They started out rejecting it. Then they moved to tolerance and then went to acceptance and finally they celebrated it,’ Huckaby said.

“The personal journey Huckaby and his parents went through was one of the big reasons Huckaby took a job more than seven years ago as executive director of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays National, also known as PFLAG National.

“PFLAG is a family and straight ally organization that helps to advance equality for lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgender individuals through support, education and advocacy.”

Jody Huckaby

The article notes that PFLAG is celebrating its 40th anniversary this year.  Begun in 1972, the organization now has over 350  chapters across the country.  Huckaby will be visiting one of the newest chapters in Baton Rouge, the capital of his native state, as this local group celebrates their first anniversary:

“Huckaby said he is excited to speak in Baton Rouge next month not only because of his family ties to Louisiana — he has a sister living in the capital city who is a Catholic nun — but because of the population growth the city has experienced since Hurricane Katrina struck Louisiana in 2005.

“The Baton Rouge chapter president, Carol Frazier, said the organization has achieved steady attendance at its monthly meetings at the Unitarian Church on Goodwood Boulevard.

“ ‘We have between 25 and 35 attendees each month. I think that’s good compared to other chapters that are only a year old. We do see new people each month,’ Frazier said.

“The Baton Rouge meetings usually feature a guest speaker as well as breakout sessions enabling small groups of members to talk about “whatever comes up,” Frazier said.

“ ‘The parents meet in their own group. They don’t always feel comfortable with the younger people,’ Frazier said.

“Varied reactions, feelings and emotions frequently arise in those smaller sessions, Frazier said, ranging from tears and laughter to silence, she said.

“ ‘You can see an interesting growth in people. I remember a mom who came and she didn’t say a word. She didn’t accept her child’s news. Now she speaks freely and is very accepting,’ Frazier said.”

Huckaby offers advice based on his own family’s experience:

“ ‘You can’t preach. People will just walk away. A big message we have is you do not have to throw out your faith to be accepting and loving,’ Huckaby said.

“Although Huckaby and his parents had no experiences with PFLAG when he confided back in college that he is gay, his mother’s turning point to acceptance and understanding of her son came from another, more traditional source.

“Huckaby said his mother read the ‘Dear Abby’ column in the Eunice News religiously throughout her life.

“One day, she read a letter in the column from the mother of a lesbian who asked how she was supposed to deal with the news.

“ ‘The advice was, you still need to love your child just like you did the day before. The second piece of advice was to go find PFLAG and get more information,’ Huckaby said.”

At New Ways Ministry, which is celebrating its 35th anniversary this year, we have witnessed the good work of PFLAG for most of its history.  Although not a religious organization, PFLAG’s simple example of listening, solidarity, and support is a model for the way ministry to parents of LGBT people should flourish.

Fortunate Families, a national network of Catholic parents with LGBT sons and daughters, provides just this type of ministry from a Catholic perspective, in the form of their Listening Parents network:  parents who have been through the experience of their child’s coming out who are available to listen to and be supportive of parents who are just learning such news. (The founders of Fortunate Families, Mary Ellen and Casey Lopata, have contributed two blog posts to Bondings 2.0 on family ministry.  You can access those here and here.)

New Ways Ministry salutes PFLAG on their 40th anniversary and prays in thanksgiving for all they have done to make the world a better place for LGBT people!  We wish them every success in the future!

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry


Fortunate Families Focus & LGBT Timeline Round Out U.S. Catholic Coverage

February 25, 2012

As mentioned on this blog the other day, the March issue of U.S. Catholic magazine has an excellent article, “Pride and Prejudice: The uneasy relationship between gays and lesbians and their church,” surveying the landscape of LGBT issues in Catholicism.

Two sidebar pieces that accompanied this article are also worthy of note.  The first, “The mamas and the papas: What it’s like for Catholic parents of GLBT children,” explains exactly what it’s title describes.  To accomplish this task, writer Kristen Hannum went to the leading national experts on this topic, Fortunate Families, a network of Catholic parents with LGBT sons and daughters.

Fortunate Families co-founder Mary Ellen Lopata talks about the need for outreach ministry to parents in an ever-increasing rigid Catholic atmosphere:

“The church has lost so much in not welcoming our gay and lesbian children. They have left the church in droves because they are not welcomed. They can stay if they’re silent, suppressing a big part of who they are. Now the church is starting to lose their parents as well.”

Fortunate Families board member Deb Word highlights the importance of being clear and unconditional in expressing the church’s welcome:

“We have to start by acknowledging that there are GLBT kids in the pews, and that God loves them. . . . ‘God loves you, but . . .’ is different from ‘God loves you.’ ”

(Fortunate Families co-founders, Mary Ellen and Casey Lopata, wrote a Bondings 2.0 blog post last month on the importance of welcoming parents of LGBT people in Catholic settings.  You can access it by clicking here.)

The main article’s other sidebar is “A history of the relationship between gay and lesbian Catholics and their church.”   The piece is a historical timeline, mapping the ups and downs of the Catholic LGBT movement from the late 1960s to the current day.  It is inspiring to see how far this movement has matured, how many struggles it has faced, and how many accomplishments it has achieved!

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry


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